Smoothly does it: Jane Fonda advertises anti-ageing face cream but has actually gone under the knife to stop her skin sagging
Why are women ever ashamed of having cosmetic surgery? I know dozens who"ve had facelifts and other work but they"ve sworn me to secrecy, even though they know I"ve had a facelift myself and I"m quite open about it.
Jane Fonda, now 72, was one of those people who disapproved of cosmetic surgery, even though some years ago she not only had breast implants (and then had them removed) but also had an operation to remove excess fat under her eyes.
She even signed a six figure contract to advertise L"Oreal anti-ageing cream for mature women.
There she was, just four years ago, banging on about how she was ready to grow old gracefully.
"I"m going to try to organise other women in my profession and my friends to say "No!" to the duck lips and getting rid of the wrinkles," she told Michael Parkinson. "Somebody has got to give a face to getting old."
Well that somebody certainly wasn"t her, as she has just revealed that recently she underwent surgery to banish the wrinkles on her chin, neck and the bags under her eyes. In other words she"s being sliced up, pulled tight and perked up like the best of us.
"I just had some work done on my chin and neck and had the bags taken away from under my eyes, so I decided it would be a good idea to get a new haircut so people will think it"s my new hair," she told fans on her blog.
"I"m still a little swollen but not much and what pleases me is that I won"t looked pulled or weird or tired all the time. And my crows feet are still alive and well."
Good for her for having it done. But it"s the hypocrisy that"s so irritating. How many women spent their hard-earned money on the anti-ageing cream she endorsed, imagining that this expensive product might give them a face as unwrinkled as Jane"s when their skin began to sag?
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Not only that, but the more celebrities who have nips and tucks who don"t confess what they"ve had done, the more it makes other older women feel upset that their bingo-wings, faces like contour maps and turkey necks, are somehow their own fault.
Did they not keep out of the sun enough when they were young? Did they not drink enough water? Did they fail to moisturise enough? When the truth is, really, that all they"ve done wrong is fail to have enough money - or guts - to undergo cosmetic surgery.
Youthful looks: From left, Arlene Phillips says she uses a "Botox alternative you can apply yourself, Lulu won"t be drwan on whether she"s had surgery and Olivia Newton-John credits her mother for her baby face
I"ve never been shy about admitting to a face-lift ten years ago. Infact I don"t even like the word "admitting" because it sounds as ifI"ve committed a crime.
I had mine done at a time when I was fairly well-off, verydepressed, and when I hated seeing myself look so miserable in themirror.
The result has been fabulous. I still look reasonably young, my skinis naturally good - due, I have to say, to a lucky dip in the geneticpool and a non-stop treatment of soap and water, and not a moisturiserin sight.
The whole procedure cheered me up no end. And although I"m quiteopen about it, very few people ask if I"ve had a facelift because I wasone of the lucky ones who had an excellent surgeon.
When I last went to Florida and saw the appallingly stretched masksand rictus smiles of several old ladies, I can see why a lot of peopleview them with horror.
But good face-lifts are like undiscovered murders. You only notice the botched ones.
Oneof the reasons I"m open is, simply, because I favour honesty, and it"sgood to be able to spread a little sunshine when I give people the nameof my surgeon.
Not ashamed: Virginia Ironside is happy to admit she"s had a face lift
The other reason is that I couldn"t bear toimagine the whispering campaign among my friends if I pretended Ihadn"t had anything done.
What on earth is wrong withhaving cosmetic surgery? It shows you care about your looks, whichmeans you care about other people.
You"d never have cosmeticsurgery if you were on a desert island, even if some whizz-kid doctorsuddenly appeared on a raft and offered his services for free.
Somelucky people just do look young. They"re genetically programmed thatway. I"m sure that Daphne Self, the glamorous older woman model, hasn"thad a face-lift. I"m also certain that Antonia Fraser is face-liftfree, and Joan Bakewell and Fay Weldon. And Olivia Newton-John, despiteher years, has always had a young-looking face.
"Genetically,I"m like my mum and she looked great right up until her death in 1989,"she has been quoted as saying. And in fact her age-defying looks helpedher secure the role of a 17-year-old in Grease in 1978 when she was 30.
I"m suspicious of Joan Collins, I have to say, but oddly, I do believe Arlene Phillips hasn"t had surgery - she still looks staggering at 66 - simply because the reasons she gives for her looks are so weird that you couldn"t make them up.
"I don"t have Botox, I hate needles, but I use a Botox alternative you can apply yourself."
Really? "And I also have this facial once a week with a rotating instrument that pulls, stretches and tightens."
Crikey, what kind of rotating instrument might that be? It must cost a few bob. And as for the amazing Lulu, at 61 - well, by refusing to say whether she"s had surgery or not, I think most of us know what conclusion we"d draw.
She says: "I"m not against cosmetic surgery; I am against talking about it - I mean, I have done the Botox thing - been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I am not into doing that any more. But who am I to say to anyone else: "Don"t do this, don"t do that." Live and let live, I say. Being judgmental is very ageing."
But, of course, it would be hard for her to fess up, if indeed she has had surgery, when she has her own Time Bomb range of anti-ageing skin products to sell. Not to mention a new book out called Lulu"s Secrets To Looking Good.
Can we expect another book on the magical effects of cosmetic surgery? Somehow, I don"t think I"ll hold my breath.
Virginia appears in The Virginia Monologues, Why It"s Great To Be Sixty, in April. Details on www.virginiaironside.org
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